Why do we always seem to resist change?
Suppose you’ve been following the same processes at work for many years and so far, it’s been working pretty well for you. And then something happens in the organization and you’re urged to shake things up and apply a new way of doing things. So you shut down recommendations in the belief that what you’ve been doing is the best way to do things. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” as they say.
We find ourselves avoiding change for fear of accepting something unfamiliar, something unknown to us. Change means giving up old things (which you know are good for you) for something new (which you’re unsure about whether will be good for you or not).
As we become an opponent of change, we are unconsciously limiting our capabilities and our thinking. By holding on to the past, we are creating barriers that only get stronger as time goes by, piling up so our old ways become difficult to break.
Why is change important?
Change is the only thing that’s constant in life. You will always have to deal with new challenges, a new career, new relationships, a new home, a new community, new experiences, and so on. Our lives are filled with it, and so resisting change is keeping your life from moving forward.
Change will help you become more adaptable and flexible in life. It opens you to more opportunities for growth and provides you with new ideas and insights that will help you succeed.
Even if you resist it, change will eventually catch up to you. And if you accept it, or seek change in the first place, you will find that many of the good things in your life were brought about by changes.
How I can help
If change is important, what’s stopping me from embracing it?
Here are some common roadblocks and personality barriers that’s hampering our development and making us resist this vital aspect of life.
You are so afraid of getting hurt, of failing, of being disappointed that you eventually stop wanting anything at all. You resist change because it’s risky, because not knowing what to expect throws you off balance. Things may not be good right now, but if I do something different, things might get worse, right? There’s the possibility of not getting what you want, and this demotivates us from seeking change in the first place.
Clinging to the past
As the prospect of change is brought to your attention, old feelings resurface, wounds reopen, past conflicts materialise. You are continuously haunted by the ghost of the past, and this makes it difficult for us to move on.
Dwelling in the past will never let you heal. It will only worsen the hurt that you are feeling. You will find it difficult to forget and let go, which are important if you want to grow as a person.
“I’m doing fine, why do I need to change?” One of the things that’s making you resist change is because you think you don’t need it. Humans are creatures of habit. Anything that distracts our routine makes us feel conscious and uncomfortable. So while your old ways are good for you, you don’t see any reason to improve.
Loss of control
Doing things your way for quite some time gives you a sense of autonomy. It makes you feel powerful and in control of your own life. Change interferes with these feelings. You will feel like being thrown into unfamiliar territory where you have to relearn and rediscover things.
Lack of support
Our willingness to change starts from the inside. But sometimes, even if you acknowledge your need for personal growth, it’s difficult to fully commit to it without the help of other people. Embracing change will be easier if people around you make you feel the need to do so.
If you’re struggling to accept and adapt with certain changes in your life as they happen, counseling can be helpful for you. Just a healthy conversation with a therapist can help you identify the obstacles and overcome the hurdles of self-improvement. If you or someone you know needs help, contact me I’ll schedule a short one-on-one session with you.